Keeping Quiet
by Ahmee
Summary: It had been almost 3 months since Jess Mariano had agreed to forget the kiss that had made his head reel, he'd managed to survive the summer without saying anything, but now that rory Gilmore has returned from Washinton he must face the one thing that he
1. Recalling

Oh my God! Oh my God!  
  
Rory.  
  
Don't say a word!  
  
Okay.  
  
It had been almost 3 months since Jess Mariano had agreed to forget the kiss that had made his head reel. For weeks he had tried to forget it, he knew nothing would come of it but as hard as he tried he couldn't be distracted from the fact that Rory Gilmore; the sainted daughter of Stars Hollow had kissed him; the devil incarnate of the same location. Despite his unsound mind, Jess had manage to survive the summer, he worked all day in his uncle's diner, played basketball in the late afternoon, and even managed to see a few movies, all in all Jess remained quite functional throughout the last 10 weeks. Until, that is Rory Gilmore returned to Stars Hollow a week ago. Now he spends his mornings holed up in his room while his uncle serves the morning customers, works 5 hours in the afternoon when he knows she won't be in, and then as the dinner crowd arrives he rushes out the door to seek sanctuary at the only place that ever made him feel welcome…  
  
It is now 9pm on a Sunday night, school starts tomorrow so the diner is rather slow and Jess is at his usual place, kicking his feet against the wooden boards of Stars Hollow's only bridge. The night is warm, but there's a cool breeze in the air that makes the people move a little faster and close their doors a little earlier leaving the streets quiet and deserted. Jess sits soundlessly content with the night, much like him restless warm inside with a bitter undertone unsure of which way to turn. His face lacks expression; his body relays the message. His shoulder slouched and crooked his head sagging into his chest, almost touching his feet. Uncontrollably he sighs as her look of terror enters his mind.  
  
Don't say a word!  
  
It had been three months and he'd practically stopped talking, he had kept his promise, but at what cost? Jess Mariano was no longer himself, he was quiet and detached unable to smile let alone smirk, he was unfeeling and indifferent. His uncle had noticed the change right away and called him on it; Jess had his chance; his chance to free himself, to finally talk about what had gone on that spring afternoon, he tried to tell his uncle, but he couldn't. Jess knew that no matter how much it hurt him not to talk it, it would only cause more problems for Rory if he did. Jess didn't really want to talk to his uncle, Luke Danes about it anyway…the man had been chasing after Rory's successor, Lorelei Gilmore for years to no avail. Jess never wanted to speak to anyone again…anyone but Rory Gilmore, but he knew that he'd just upset her even more, and he couldn't bear to see her cry again. That's why he stayed away, that's why he is sitting on the bridge in the dark, alone…  
  
The muscles on Jess' neck tighten as the sound of footstep sound behind him.  
  
"H-hi." Rory Gilmore's voice stumbles.  
  
Jess remains unmoving, staring across the water.  
  
"I-I've been home for almost a week…"  
  
"Yeah, I heard that." Jess answers wryly.  
  
"Well, I haven't seen you in the diner or at all even so I…  
  
"What?" Jess' voice is stern.  
  
"I came looking for you."  
  
"Why?" Jess asks picking a rock up and throwing it across the water.  
  
"Because…"  
  
Jess turns suddenly, is eyes filled with fire, "You still with Dean?"  
  
"Wha—"  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Yes, I guess…I don't know I haven't really spoken to him much the summer…"  
  
"Don't they have phones in Washington?" Jess says angrily.  
  
"Yes…but I was busy with Chilton stuff…and you met Paris she's a control fre—  
  
"Like you said, you've been back for a week."  
  
"H-He was in Chicago until yesterday."  
  
"So, why didn't you go see him today?"  
  
"B-because I wanted to talk to you first…"  
  
*A/N Ok just a little starter thing here, I've never really done present stories so here's my attempt at a serious one I've been watching a lot of angsty kind of stuff so it probably reflects my work well I let me know what you think, I hope you all like it. 


	2. Walking Away

A/n Alright I know that the start of this story was a little bit on the slow side and may have been a little bit confusing. See I like trying new things so I'm testing out mixing that past and the present tenses. See Basically Rory has come back from Washington and there has been a whole three months worth of events that we didn't get to see but need to be addressed. So I figure that this whole kiss was a big thing for both Jess and Rory so they prob. Spent their summer going over that afternoon in their heads…So basically here it is September and now Jess and Rory are back in the same place and they need to deal with the situation and there is no way they can do that without looking back on all that has happened. Ok well I hope you enjoy this It's still a little bit slow but hopefully it'll pick up the speed in the next chapter. Remember R&R thanks.  
  
"Why?" Jess stand up suddenly.  
Rory's figure trembles unsure of what to say, "I-I don't know I just think—  
"Come on, Rory you know."  
"Jess…"  
"What's so hard to say? It's was one kiss… I didn't mean it. I have a boyfriend, you're a screw up, it was just a lapse of judgment." Jess answers harshly in a mocking tone. "Was that so difficult?" Jess doesn't wait for the answer; he turns towards the road and begins to walk away.  
Rory's eyes fill with tears as she watches Jess leave. Her legs tremble unable to move forwards she allows her legs to give in and sits down on the bridge. "…But I did mean it."  
And she. True, she had begged him to keep quiet about the kiss, and she had done just as he had taught her, she had run away rather than face the consequence. At the time she had thought she was doing the right thing; giving herself space…but now, three months later knew that she ran for the same reason he did…she was scared, angry and uncertain. 3 months in the nation's capital, a time intended to stimulate the mind and Rory spent them hiding in her dorm room…attempting, to no avail to lose her self in her books.   
The week after Sookie's Wedding, Rory had waited uneasily at the bus stop. As the bus pulled up in front of her, she staggered backwards as the thought of running home crossed her mind. The bus doors opened and Rory could hear Paris Geller's shrill voice echoing throughout it. As Rory entered the bus and sat down beside her classmate, she knew that she had made a big mistake. Sending a cloud of dust into the air, the bus started its long trip to Washington. Within moments Paris had pulled out booklets filled with political strategies. Rory's eyes wondered towards the window as Paris explained her plan of action, unfortunately Rory's inattentiveness was noticed immediately.  
"If you're not going take this seriously, than just forget it." Paris had exclaimed.  
"Wha-oh sorry. I'm just…not myself." Rory answered quietly.  
No, Rory Gilmore was not herself, but it wasn't because of a simple kiss. No, Rory was doomed from the moment Jess Mariano had entered Stars Hollow. Rory had not been herself for nearly a year now, and she knew it. For months she had tried to deny the truth, but as spring veered it's way into town, it became harder to do so. It seemed to Rory that they were being thrown together, first he was hired to clean there gutters leaving it impossible for her not to see him, then she was asked to be his tutor…which had led to jess' departure. Before she knew it, she was skipping school to go see him, a person who was definitely not her boyfriend. She had missed her mother's only graduation because of an until recently inexplicable action.   
Sitting on the bridge tonight, Rory knew the truth…for the first time in a very long time, she was sure of something…She liked Jess. Oddly enough she did not come to this conclusion on her own. It was her uptight obsessive friend, Paris that made her face the truth.  
"Would you stop that!" Paris said shortly.  
"What?" Rory asked looking up from her book.  
"You've been sitting here for 2 weeks like "suicide on a stick."" Paris replied.  
"Please…don't quote under-appreciated romantic comedies starring Gweneth Paltrow."  
"Just call him."  
"No. I don't feel like talking to Dean right now." Rory answered.  
"I'm not talking about Dean."   
For a moment Rory's eyes softened, "I don't know who else I'd be calling."  
"Stop lying…you know you want to call him."  
"Even if I had someone else to call, they probably wouldn't be home."  
"Where would he go to the town square dance?"  
"No…but…Ugh! I have a boyfriend, and I love him—  
"Well, take it from that crappy early 90's love song "Sometimes, Love just aint enough"" Seeing the hurt on Rory's face Paris continued, "Besides…wouldn't it be more hurtful to all of you if you just overlooked this whole thing…you know, there are worse things in the world than breaking up with someone because you have feelings for another…like having no one to love," Paris's words pierced the air and Rory knew she couldn't ignore it anymore. As Paris climbed into bed, Rory pulled out a piece of paper and began to write.  
Dear Jess,  
There are some things I need to say…. 


End file.
